My Advice

A problem that seems to arise daily in my life is the challenge of giving advice or not giving advice.  On a daily basis, I am put in a position in my family life where I am asked my opinion or thoughts on the situation at hand.  My reaction to this situation can turn the conversation into something constructive or it can become quite destructive.  This problem arises quite a bit when it involves my family, specifically my daughter and husband.  There has been so many times when my daughter has asked me for help.  Whether she is rehearsing for a performance or involved in an athletic event, she will come to me.  I have learned that each time I give too much advice; it has turned into an argument.  This has always confused me.  She is asking for my help, but when given, the results are not as expected.  She really isn’t asking for my criticism of her performance or actions, she just wants me.  I have learned in this instance, she is looking for reassurance.  She is looking to vent her frustrations or concerns.  This is an opportunity to bond.  I have tried to handle this in different ways.  I have tried to be honest (good or bad), and on the other hand, I have tried another approach.  I console and say nothing more.  This seems to help in certain instances but not at all times.  It has become clear to me. I just need to be there for my child.  Nothing more, nothing less.  It is clear none of the other stuff matters as long as she is feeling loved.  I have to always remember this.